Any suggestions to make my english descriptive paper better and more exciting?

I was walking through an abandon forest when I sensed someone was following me. I turned around and I saw nobody.
“I’m losing it,” I muttered to myself.
As I kept walking, the feeling kept getting stronger and stronger. My pace coming into a light jog. I was about to turn back home when I saw this huge old looking mansion that I had never seen before even though I came here often to have some time to myself.
This house was no ordinary looking home. It had old, weird looking black shingles which made it look like it had been standing for over 100 years. The bricks were a charcoal color that seemed like they were going to fall off at any second and the old wooden front doors must have been at least 10 feet tall. The windows were tinted all black so nobody could’ve seen what was going on inside.
I knew that going closer to this creepy house was a bad idea but my curiosity got the best of me so I just kept walking. The feeling of someone following me quickly went away. I was cautiously entering the front yard when I saw a charm bracelet lying on the muddy ground. The person who must live here must have dropped it. I decided to be a good girl and return it to its rightful owner. The bracelet only had one charm on it, it was a broom. I found that very weird.
I got to the front doors; a simple black circular knocker was placed there. I grabbed it and swung it. As I did that, the door just opened. Shivers went down my spine.
“Hello,” I yelled. “Is anybody home?” I half expected to see Hansel and Gretel running out of this mysterious place.
Nobody answered so I put the charm bracelet around my wrist so I wouldn’t lose it. As I stepped inside, I saw a long corridor leading to several doors. At the end of the corridor, a bell from which you would see in high school movies was placed high up on the wall. I found that pretty random. On the left of me was a staircase which I wouldn’t dare go up because it seemed scary as hell up there. It was dark and very dusty. It seemed like nobody had lived here in ages. As I walked through this very narrow corridor, clay modeled witch hands with long black nails were placed on the walls as decoration. Each had a different hand gesture and some were holding green apples. I entered the first room which happened to be on the right.
Book shelves were everywhere with thousands of books scattered all over the floor. Some were opened and some were closed. Spider webs were all over the place. The books all had titles of “Potions” or “Witchcraft” all over them. I never had believed in witches so I didn’t get scared over these silly books that were lying on the floor.
As I was going on to the next room, I could have sworn that one of the clay modeled witch hands moved. I ignored it and moved on. The next room which was on the left had brooms hanging all over the walls. Each broom had a plaque under it saying a certain year. Some went back to the 1600’s. In the corner of the room, a broom was just floating out of thin air. Shivers went through my spine because no strings were attached to it.
I ran out of the room. I walked further in to the corridor. One more room stood in front of me. The word “PRIVATE” was carved on the closed door. I opened it, bats rats and purple smoke came hurling towards me.
I screamed as I protected myself with my bare hands. When the smoke cleared up, the room was full of witch hats and caldrons which had purple, puffy thick smoke coming out of them. More books were scattered everywhere and that’s when I sensed someone was watching me.
I turned around and I saw this old green faced lady. She had a long nose and I an ugly boil growing out of it. Wrinkles were everywhere on her face. She wore a long black loose dress and a witch hat. Her broom on her right hand.
“Well, hello my pree-ty,” she said in a very shaky, threatening voice. “You know it isn’t right to be breaking into someone’s home, do you?”
“Yes,” I said in a low shaky voice.
“Well you must pay the price for this, my darling.”
Evil laughter filled the room. She pulled out her wand which looked like a wooden branch to me. She started saying some pronunciations and that’s when I ran for it, straight to the front door when a black cat came in my way and I tripped. The witch was coming closer and closer and I was just too scared to make a sudden move. That’s when the random bell started ringing loudly from the end of the corridor. It was an extremely familiar sound.
Next thing you know, I was sitting in my chair in English class. Miss Chevrier telling us to have a good week-end before we left her classroom.
I was so confused. Did I just dream that? It seemed so real.
As I was walking out, one of my friends pointed at my wrist.
“Nice bracelet,” she said. “Where did you get it?” As I looked down at my wrist, I realized it was the same charm bracelet that I had found on the ground before entering the house. And that left me wondering, did that just really happen?
Thank you sosososososoososososoosos much!

Is Virginia a screwed up state?

A freinds brother just came back from the gulf and he was driving around at Virginia Beach and was pulled over for having tints on his truck..the cops told him the county.not the state..doesn’t allow tints on the window..he said what the hell? and then they charged him with agrevated assult on a police officer..then he said what the F^ck ..then they charged him with a second count of aggravated assult….then without testing him and searching his truck they also charged him with being under the influance and possession of drugs…his freind that was with him was allowed to drive the truck home.
What the hell is that all about…..is Virginia a communist state????????
Sorry I forgot to spell check..I am just upset that this happened.
Don’t question authority..what the hell is that all about…just lay down and do and follow their lead????
And for the rant..if you look at the headline….it’s a question you dweeb.
So what the hell.. is the “commonwealth” part of the U.S.?? or what…since when do they have questionable laws that are different from the rest of the U.S.?
Sounds communist to me.
Doesn’t make sense..then why did they let his freind go and take the vehicle if there was drugs involved…doesn’t make sense..sorry this kid hasn’t hurt a fly in all the years I knew him and so damn polite it’s sick…unless the war changed him in some way…he did kill a few people there.

what title should I give my story?

I was walking through an abandoned forest when I sensed someone was following me. I turned around, but I saw nobody.
“I’m losing it,” I muttered to myself.
As I kept walking, the feeling kept getting stronger and stronger. My pace turned into a light jog. I was about to turn back home when suddenly, a huge, old-looking mansion that I had never seen before loomed ahead of me. “Strange,” I thought. I had never seen the mansion before, though I came here often to have some time to myself.
This house was no ordinary looking home. It had old, weird-looking black shingles which made it look like it had been standing for over 100 years. The charcoal-colored bricks seemed like they were going to fall off at any second, and the old wooden front doors must have been at least 10 feet tall. The windows were tinted all black so nobody could’ve seen what was going on inside.
I knew that going closer to this creepy house was a bad idea, but my curiosity got the best of me. As I continued walking, the feeling of someone following me quickly disappeared. I was cautiously entering the front yard when I saw a charm bracelet lying on the muddy ground; the person who must live here must have dropped it. I decided to be a good person and return it to its rightful owner. The bracelet only had one charm on it: a broom. Strange.
I reached the front doors; a simple black circular knocker was placed there. I grabbed it and swung it. As I did that, the door just opened. Shivers went down my spine.
“Hello,” I yelled. “Is anybody home?” I almost expected to see Hansel and Gretel running out of this mysterious place.
Nobody answered so I put the charm bracelet around my wrist so I wouldn’t lose it. As I stepped inside, I saw a long corridor leading to several doors. At the end of the corridor, a random bell from which you would see in high school movies was placed high up on the wall. On the left of me was a staircase. I wouldn’t dare climb up because it seemed scary as hell up there. It was so dark and dusty that it seemed like nobody had lived here in ages. As I walked through this very narrow corridor, clay modeled witch hands with long black nails were placed on the walls as decoration. Each had a different hand gesture and some were holding green apples. I entered the first room which happened to be on the right.
Book shelves were everywhere, with thousands of books scattered all over the floor, titled “Potions” or “Witchcraft.” Some were opened and some were closed. Spider webs were all over the place. I never had believed in witches so I didn’t get scared over these silly books.
As I was going on to the next room, I could have sworn that one of the clay modeled witch hands moved. I ignored it and moved on. The next room which was on the left had brooms hanging all over the walls. Each broom had a plaque under it saying a certain year. Some went back to the 1600’s. In the corner of the room, a broom was just floating on thin air. Shivers went through my spine– I could see no strings attached to it.
I ran out of the room. I walked further in to the corridor. One more room stood in front of me. The word “PRIVATE” was carved on the closed door. I still decided to open it, and when I did, bats, rats and purple smoke came hurling towards me.
I screamed as I protected myself with my bare hands. When the smoke cleared up, the room was full of witch hats and cauldrons which had purple, puffy thick smoke coming out of them. More books were scattered everywhere and that’s when I sensed someone was watching me again.
I turned around and I saw this old green faced lady. She had a long nose and I an ugly boil growing out of it. Wrinkles were everywhere on her face. She wore a long black loose dress and a witch hat. Her broom on her right hand.
“Well, hello my pre-tty,” she said in a very shaky, threatening voice. “You know it isn’t right to be breaking into someone’s home, do you?”
“Yes,” I said in a low shaky voice.
“Well you must pay the price for this, my darling.”
Evil laughter filled the room. She pulled out her wand which looked like a wooden branch to me. She started saying some pronunciations and that’s when I ran for it, straight to the front door when a black cat came in my way and I tripped. The witch was coming closer and closer and I was just too scared to make a sudden move. That’s when the random bell started ringing loudly from the end of the corridor. It was an extremely familiar sound.
The next thing I knew, I was sitting in my chair in English class. Miss Chevrier telling us to have a good week-end before we left her classroom.
I was so confused. Did I just dream that? It seemed so real.
As I was walking out, one of my friends pointed at my wrist.
“Nice bracelet,” she said. “Where did you get it?” As I looked down, I realized it was the same charm bracelet that I had found on the ground before entering the house. And that left me wondering, did that just really happen?

What title should I give my story?

I was walking through an abandoned forest when I sensed someone was following me. I turned around, but I saw nobody.
“I’m losing it,” I muttered to myself.
As I kept walking, the feeling kept getting stronger and stronger. My pace turned into a light jog. I was about to turn back home when suddenly, a huge, old-looking mansion that I had never seen before loomed ahead of me. “Strange,” I thought. I had never seen the mansion before, though I came here often to have some time to myself.
This house was no ordinary looking home . It had old, weird-looking black shingles which made it look like it had been standing for over 100 years. The charcoal-colored bricks seemed like they were going to fall off at any second, and the old wooden front doors must have been at least 10 feet tall. The windows were tinted all black so nobody could’ve seen what was going on inside.
I knew that going closer to this creepy house was a bad idea, but my curiosity got the best of me. As I continued walking, the feeling of someone following me quickly disappeared. I was cautiously entering the front yard when I saw a charm bracelet lying on the muddy ground; the person who must live here must have dropped it. I decided to be a good person and return it to its rightful owner. The bracelet only had one charm on it: a broom. Strange.
I reached the front doors; a simple black circular knocker was placed there. I grabbed it and swung it. As I did that, the door just opened. Shivers went down my spine.
“Hello,” I yelled. “Is anybody home ?” I almost expected to see Hansel and Gretel running out of this mysterious place.
Nobody answered so I put the charm bracelet around my wrist so I wouldn’t lose it. As I stepped inside, I saw a long corridor leading to several doors. At the end of the corridor, a random bell from which you would see in high school movies was placed high up on the wall. On the left of me was a staircase. I wouldn’t dare climb up because it seemed scary as hell up there. It was so dark and dusty that it seemed like nobody had lived here in ages. As I walked through this very narrow corridor, clay modeled witch hands with long black nails were placed on the walls as decoration. Each had a different hand gesture and some were holding green apples. I entered the first room which happened to be on the right.
Book shelves were everywhere, with thousands of books scattered all over the floor, titled “Potions” or “Witchcraft.” Some were opened and some were closed. Spider webs were all over the place. I never had believed in witches so I didn’t get scared over these silly books.
As I was going on to the next room, I could have sworn that one of the clay modeled witch hands moved. I ignored it and moved on. The next room which was on the left had brooms hanging all over the walls. Each broom had a plaque under it saying a certain year. Some went back to the 1600’s. In the corner of the room, a broom was just floating on thin air. Shivers went through my spine– I could see no strings attached to it.
I ran out of the room. I walked further in to the corridor. One more room stood in front of me. The word “PRIVATE” was carved on the closed door. I still decided to open it, and when I did, bats, rats and purple smoke came hurling towards me.
I screamed as I protected myself with my bare hands. When the smoke cleared up, the room was full of witch hats and cauldrons which had purple, puffy thick smoke coming out of them. More books were scattered everywhere and that’s when I sensed someone was watching me again.
I turned around and I saw this old green faced lady. She had a long nose and I an ugly boil growing out of it. Wrinkles were everywhere on her face. She wore a long black loose dress and a witch hat. Her broom on her right hand.
“Well, hello my pre-tty,” she said in a very shaky, threatening voice. “You know it isn’t right to be breaking into someone’s home , do you?”
“Yes,” I said in a low shaky voice.
“Well you must pay the price for this, my darling.”
Evil laughter filled the room. She pulled out her wand which looked like a wooden branch to me. She started saying some pronunciations and that’s when I ran for it, straight to the front door when a black cat came in my way and I tripped. The witch was coming closer and closer and I was just too scared to make a sudden move. That’s when the random bell started ringing loudly from the end of the corridor. It was an extremely familiar sound.
The next thing I knew, I was sitting in my chair in English class. Miss Chevrier telling us to have a good week-end before we left her classroom.
I was so confused. Did I just dream that? It seemed so real.
As I was walking out, one of my friends pointed at my wrist.
“Nice bracelet,” she said. “Where did you get it?” As I looked down, I realized it was the same charm bracelet that I had found on the ground before entering the house. And that left me wondering, did that just really happen?

Does anyone else HATE minivans?

Ah…minivans…how I hate thee. It was a sad, sad day for me when I traded in my Jeep for a minivan, but alas, 3 full sized car seats didn’t fit in the back of the jeep. I wanted a suburban, my husband wanted a minivan. I lost that argument. Epically. So on the way to the car lot, I decided to give my jeep days one last farewell and as a result got pulled over by the county sheriff…a bunch of bs later (hey my dad was a state trooper – he coached me well in the art of wheedling my way out of traffic tickets), I got off with a verbal warning for driving 75 in a 55.
So I bid farewell to my beloved jeep and drove home a Chrysler Town and Country, much to my intense chagrin (conspicuously shielding my face with my hand so that no one would notice that I, a 24 year old mom of 3, was driving a minivan. No matter how hard you try, it is absolutely impossible to preserve any bit of youthful dignity while driving a minivan that screams “35 year old lame soccer mom”. After one winter and infinite hours spent stuck in the snow and ice on flat, even surfaces (and I lived on a hill so add about 5 more hours to that), I put my foot down, said enough is enough, went out “shopping” on black friday and came home driving a Mercury Mountaineer. I love it. With third row fold down seating, it seats all the kids comfortably and the windows are tinted darkly enough that I can drive and the one remaining car seat (my oldest two girls are out of car seats now, and only my youngest is in a car seat), can’t be seen through the glass…hehehehehhehehehehe. And the stereo system….aaahhh….I feel the age I’m supposed to feel (which is only 26)…I LOVVVVVVE it!!! I will never, ever, ever buy a minivan again and I will vehemently warn those who consider buying one to look into an alternative vehicle instead! lol!!!
How about you? What is your minivan story? lol.
Star is a chick: Yes, my oldest is big enough to be out of a car seat. She is 7 and 60 pounds and 54 inches tall (which is only 7 inches shorter than me). In the state where I live, car seat laws are children up to age 6 must ride in a booster. And, there is no way that I would spend that much money on car seats…no way. They were all in Gracos at the time and with all 3 in the back of the jeep, they didn’t sit evenly on the seat as they slanted together after you closed the doors. Not safe, and then you couldn’t get them buckled. My middle child is in a backless booster seat that just sets on the seat, and isn’t fastened in unless she’s buckled in with the shoulder belt. she is 44 pounds and 51 inches tall. So yes, they are all safe and appropriately seated .
lovemy4boys: No, not ashamed of being a mom. But it is nice to like what you drive, know what I mean? I mean I’m 26, I’d like to enjoy some youth while I can. And the tinted windo thing was a joke…you know, sense of humor thing lol. We also live in a state that gets ALOT of snow…like October through March is pretty much constant snow cover and lots of it, and that thing was horrible in the snow and it wasn’t practicle… I guess I’m just not the “minivan” type. I love my kids, don’t get me wrong, but I’m still me and I have things that I like to do and I’m still “me”. This is just my opinion, I’m not criticizing yours, just saying, that’s mine . Peace out

Unsure how to interpret my fiance’s actions? Need opinions.?

This is a little long…

My fiancee and I were out to the beach with some friends, and have been having drinks all day. I normally do not drink, because sometimes I have a really bad reaction to alcohol, almost like an allergy that comes and goes. But I had a couple that day.

When we were leaving, we all wanted to stop elsewhere and get dinner, But on the way in the car I started getting sick and asked him to pull over on the interstate because I was nauseous. I was fine then, just needed a break, but blacked out in the car right after. When we finally got home , I was really sick and really in bad shape, with all the bad imaginable consequences of drinking.

Well, the next day I found out that apparently while I was passed out in the car, he still went out to eat with the friends. He left me there and said he went to get a quick bite. It was late at night, I was so sick passed out, and it was dark and the car windows are tinted. He could not know if I was OK even if he was looking at the car the whole time. And of course he knows I have the bad reaction to booze.

I am really mad and disappointed, because he chose socializing and leaving me alone like that, while I am in the worst shape he’s ever seen me. But he says he doesn’t understand what the big deal is, and I was just sleeping, and I should not flip out.

I am about to break up with him over this. It is a serious committed long term relationship, and I feel that he failed me when I needed him the most – even though I’ve always stuck by his side in much worse situations. I think it’s really careless to do that, and he should’ve taken me home immediately. It’s the first time something like this ever happened to me.

Tell me, am I overreacting? Is he right that it’s not a big deal? Or is he really the self-centered jerk that I think he is for doing this?

We are in our late 20′s and early 30′s by the way, if that makes any difference.

Thank you.

Suspicious car outside of my school?

I walked out of school and noticed a black van parked outside of the campus. I didn’t think anything of it, cuz it could’ve been someone waiting for their kid.
So I waited for my friend and we started walking home .
The area we walk is straight, and halfway theres a street off of it.
The same car pulled over towards us, so My friend and some other girl looked at the person (The windows were tinted so I couldn’t see who.) And after they looked at the car the person drove off. (But he/she stayed there for 5 seconds…..which is creepy.)

Do you think its a rapist/pedophile? If the persons back tomorrow, should I be concerned?

What should I do , my BF……..?

my boy friend and I have been going out for like 8 months, last week we were at a dance, on the way home he stopped in a parking lot and told me to close my eyes. I did, he reached up my shirt, took off my bra, and then took off my shirt(The windows were tinted thank goodness) and then he started like touching my boobs,then he started licking, sucking and doing other things to my boobs, I would have stopped him but it felt so good. But yesterday he called my and told me he wanted me to come to his house and finger his crotch. I really want to do this, but I don’t know what would feel good to him, how do you finger a crotch in a nice way that feels good?

Can you get in trouble for almost hitting a pedestrian?

The other night, I was on my way home around 4:00 a.m. in the morning, and came to a right turn. I pulled up to the intersection and was nudging forward while looking left to see if there was any oncoming traffic coming before I make the turn, there was none and I quickly looked right and as I did a pedestrian out of nowhere jumped out the way and hit my car with his walking stick. I was freaked out and made a wider turn realizing that was a really close call and as I drove off I looked back and he was running after me.

Now I am worried that I maybe should have stopped to make sure he was ok, I mean if he jumped out my way and started running after me, he should be right? I definitely did not see him because he was wearing really dark clothes with no reflectors and my windows are tinted so it is a little hard to see someone through them at night.

Should I be worrying right now or should I just learn from this event?