how do deal with a relative when she is a control freak?

i hate to say that , this relative is my mom,
i was living in ny with my husband and we have some economic problems and it was really hard on us, 3 years ago.
my mom told me to come back to greece with the promise that she ‘s going to sell our house to help her self and us.
the problem is that 1 year now many people came for the house and they wanna take it and my mom took some money from 2 people to close it but she’s refusing to give it.
the biggest problem is that a whole year she doesn’t realise that im 26, i have a husband and she’s trying to control both of us, and when we don’t “obey” her she’s sneaking to our things and she’s throw them away to the garbage. she was like this since i was little but i thought that she has changed. she treating us bad , she insulting us that we are dirty people and we need, her to teach us how to be organized, and she is abusing us with her aditude non stop, and she talks all day about the same things over and over again, and how great she is, and how smart she is.
she acusing me that because of me her life is being distroyed and right now me and my husband we try to get a job and get out of there.
until we leave how can i manage her?
yerstaday i bought cat and dog food because i want to feed some of the dogs and cats on the street because it makes feel better, she knows that i must not talk because i have vocal polyp and shes sceaming on me on purpose to make me talk. about why i bought the dog food.
to stop her i took the iron and i showed her that if she don’t stop screaming i will break the window with the iron, yes i know that is bad , but in this family i grow up , that is the way of poeple to leave you in peace, they don’t understand talking , i don’t know whats their problem, i just want my peace., any way i didn’t break the iron or anything, but she called the police. the police didn’t do anything because they didn’t have any reason, and she was lieing to them , about everything, that my husband is a very bad person that he was even pimp me back in ny, that he has big demands and he wants to spend too much money, that i will kill her, etc……..
she’s is bying stuff non stop spending all the money poeple gave her , and i don’t thing she will ever do anything and the people will sue her and they will take the house, the plan was to go and pay some of our bills and have a good credit (its a differend sestem here in greece, in two weeks you can have a “clean” credit score and you can take money from the banks), but she didn’t pay with the money any bills and she doesn’t go to the banks and she doesn’t do anything , and she non stop try to control us with what we gonna weare, what to do with our lifes, she wants me to help her to come to ny, no way im gonna do that,
anyway, i just want my peace, heal my self, so i can work , im a opera singer, and my husband he’s going to film school now but has been a set designer for many years. , so
but we need peace, to start doing things and get money of our own and get out of this terrible hell!
i know she s my mother and i wish that one day i can give her money and stuff but i really don’t want her in my life, and i want her out, no problem of helping her but she must be away from me because she’s abusing me really bad, telling me all the time that im dirty, that it is my fault she screwed up her life, that im the like my father, etc….

thanks for reading this, and any advice is welcome.

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